Monday, September 24, 2007

Stuck In A Room With You, How To Deal With Manipulative People

This past week we continued our series called, "Stuck In A Room With You." – We talked about how to deal with manipulative people. It one of our most requested messages in recent history and must have struck a chord with many. You can listen to the message podcast through our website at www.freedomlife.tv or click here to download

Webster's Dictionary defines manipulation as the desire... 2 to control by unfair or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage 3 : to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one's purpose. In other words, God has a plan for your life and so does other people (including Satan). The root of manipulation is the desire to control which ultimately stems from insecurity. Read the story in Luke chapter 4 about how Jesus dealt with

MANIPULATORS’ GREATEST WEAPONS:

1. Threats

• JEZEBEL MANIPULATED ELIJAH WITH FEAR.
“Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, ‘May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.’ Elijah was afraid [a] and ran for his life.” 1 Kings 19:1-3

• Threats:
o If you want to work here, you’ll do this.
o If you don’t do this, I’m leaving you.
o If you don’t tell me, I’m hanging up.
o If you don’t pay more attention to me, I’m taking you out of my will.
o If you don’t do this, you are not getting any of that.

Key Scripture--Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. Proverbs 29:25

2. GUILT

DELILAH MANIPULATED SAMSON WITH THIS.
Then she said to him, "How can you say, 'I love you,' when you won't confide in me?...16 With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death. Judg 16:15-16

o If you love me, you’d do what I ask.
o After all I’ve done for you; you won’t do this one thing.
o Silent treatment: I’m not talking to you right now.
o Thought we were close; obviously I can’t count on you.
o If you don’t do this, you’re not good person.
o If you don’t meet my needs, I’ll find another way to get them met.

Key scripture-- “…there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1
God uses conviction to free us, Satan uses condemnation to control us. Don't allow yourself to stay condemned, confess the Word Of God over your life and rise up and be free!

HOW TO BREAK THE POWER OF MANIPULATION OVER YOUR LIFE

1) RECOGNIZE WHEN SOMEONE IS TRYING TO CONTROL YOU.

…Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem…and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life. 22 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. "Never, Lord!" he said. "This shall never happen to you!" Matt 16:21-22

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE BEING MANIPULATED?
• You can’t say “no” to a certain person.
• You always feel guilty.
• You feel ultimately responsible.
• You compromise your values to please others.

It may be a parent, a spouse, a friend, a boss... others normally recognize before we do when we are being controlled by someone. Instead of discounting someone's observations, ask God to reveal to you if that is occurring in your life today.

2) RESOLVE THAT YOU WILL NOT PLAY THE GAME!

The devil led him up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. 6And he said to him, "I will give you all their authority and splendor, for it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. 7So if you worship me, it will all be yours." 8Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.'" Luke 4:5-8

• If someone else has control, you are committing the sin of idolatry. God is the only one that should have control over our lives because He alone is good. Jesus responded to Satan's desire for control with the Word of God. Make a decision to digest daily the Word Of God into your Spirit so that you can be strong in God's power and walk in victory and freedom!

3) REPOSITION THE RELATIONSHIP.

Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." Matt 16:21-23

I would not encourage you to tell someone that they are Satan, but I do want to encourage you to establish healthy boundaries in relationships. Your relationships should not be marked by fear, threats & guilt. Break free from that today in Jesus name!
Don't ever forget that the truth sets us free! Here are 2 scriptures that I would like to encourage you to memorize and confess over your life this week!

Obviously, I'm not trying to be a people pleaser! No, I am trying to please God. If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ's servant. Gal 1:10 NLT

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Break free from unhealthy control over you and follow God's plan for your life this week!