The last 2 desires that cause conflict, which we are all aware are...
The Desire Have Stuff (Pleasure) "... you want only what will give you pleasure" (vs. 3)
There is nothing wrong with pleasure. I personally appreciate the fact that God allows us to experience pleasure. But when pleasure becomes the number one goal in your life -- if it feels good, do it -- you're asking for conflict. Seeking self-pleasure will lead you down the wrong road.
The Desire To Be Important (Pride & Power) "Pride leads to arguments ..." Prov. 13:10 (LB)
It's a desire to impress. It's the desire to be full of pride, to be number one, to impress others.
James defines the fact that blowouts (arguments) occur because of these three desires that battle within us. James goes onto tell us two reasons why our desires aren't fulfilled. Number one: We don't pray. We don't ask God. We look to the wrong source. We look to people to fulfill our needs instead of looking to God.
(vs. 2-3) "You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives..."Conflict with God (vs. 4-6)"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (vs. 6)
The second reason is our pride, which I mentioned earlier. To be in opposition to God is a dangerous place to be. You're on a collision course. There's no way you're going to win. Ultimately, if these desires, pride specifically, are the cause of arguments...
WHAT IS THE CURE FOR ARGUMENTS? THE ANSWER IS HUMILITY RESULTING IN GRACE.
"God ... gives grace to the humble. Humble yourself before the Lord, and he will lift you up." (vs. 6 & 10)
What is grace? Grace is God's power to change. What would you like to change about yourself? Whatever it is, you need grace to do it. What do you want to change about your relationships, your marriage, your family? Whatever you would like to change, you need grace. You can't change it on your own. You need God's power and that's called grace. Grace is the power to change, and there is only one way you get grace. You humble yourself.
That's the foundation. Tomorrow I'll give you the 4 things that you have to do in order to diffuse a conflict Road Rage before it explodes into your life...