Thursday, November 12, 2009

From our mid-week service- "How To Affair Proof Your Marriage."

When I first got married I read a book by Dr. Willard Harley, a counselor in Minnesota, called, "His Needs, Her Needs." He has identified through thousands of couples what he thinks are the top 5 needs of most men and the top 5 needs of most women. I also read a book by Dr. Gary Chapman called, "The 5 Love Languages." Both of these books have been incredibly helpful in my marriage because they teach you what the needs of your spouse are & how you can meet them. I encourage you to take the time to click on the book titles above & discover more about them when you are finished reading the post below. The thoughts below are from a our mid-week series that we have adapted from Rick Warren based on the 10 commandments. Great stuff!

THE PREVENTION: SIX STEPS

1. MAKE A COMMITMENT TO GOD'S STANDARDS.
"How can a (person) keep his way pure? By living according to your Word." Ps. 119:9
"Be faithful to your own wife and give your love to her alone." Pr. 5:15 (GN)
2. MAGNIFY THE CONSEQUENCES.
"The one who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys his own soul." Pr. 6:32 (GN) "...adultery will cost a man all he has." Pr. 6:26 (GN)
"God will judge those who are immoral and those who commit adultery." Heb. 13:4b
3. MAINTAIN MY MARRIAGE
"A man should fulfill his duty as a husband and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs." I Cor. 7:3 (GN)
"Do not cheat each other of normal sexual intercourse ... or you will expose yourselves to the obvious temptation of Satan." I Cor. 7:5 (Ph)
4. MANAGE MY MIND
How Affairs Develop
1st Accepting sinful thoughts in my mind
2nd Emotional, non-physical involvement
3rd Physical involvement
4th Rationalizing the affair
"Temptation is the pull of a person's own evil thoughts and wishes. These evil thoughts lead to evil actions and afterwards to death." James 1:14-15 (LB)
"Turn your back on lustful desires and give your positive attention to goodness, integrity, love, and peace..." 2 Tim. 2:22 (Ph)
"I want you to be wise about what is good and innocent about evil." Rom 16:19
5. MAINTAIN PROPER RELATIONSHIPS
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality." Eph. 5:3
6. MINIMIZE THE OPPORTUNITY
"So be careful! If you are thinking, `Oh, I would never behave like that - let this be a warning to you. For you too may fall into sin." I Cor. 10:12 (LB)
"Bad company corrupts good character." I Cor. 15:33
"Guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with your wife." Mal. 2:15

THE PATHWAY BACK TO PURITY
1. Acknowledge the SIN. (Ps. 51:1-4)
2. End the relationship IMMEDIATELY!
3. Avoid ALL contact with the person from now on. Do whatever it takes to do this!