Today's message was probably more of a rant than a well crafted message. I shared a variety of thoughts in regards to what you need to know before you get married. My goal was to throw down a serious challenge to everyone in the house so they'd consider whether they are living lives of compromise or conviction in regards to their relationships. Last week I talked about the fact that commitment is the foundation of a great marriage. In fact, commitment is the foundation for a great life! You should not even consider going out with a guy/girl that doesn't demonstrate a high level of commitment in the key arenas of life. If you do, you might as well purchase your one way ticket for the Titanic now because a catastrophe is inevitable.
We looked at the story of Ahab & Jezebel found in 1 Kings 21. In the story, King Ahab represents the passive husband & Jezebel represents the controlling/manipulative wife. They are both extreme examples of the type of people that we don't want to marry. As you take time to read the story you will understand that Ahab was a complete momma's boy & his wife overdosed on the crazy pill. They are an example of everything we should strive not to be as men/women, husband/wife.
I laid out a clear challenge to the guys to not get caught in adolescence for the rest of their lives. Women don't want to be their husbands momma! Every woman wants to be with a man that will be a lead-her. It's time for the men of our generation to man-up & put away childish behavior. The Apostle Paul tells us in I Corinthians 13:11 - “... when I became a man I put away childish things.”
Dr. Edwin Louis Cole describes 7 characteristics of children & men & how they should be different!
Seven characteristics of a child:
-Center of own universe.
-Insensitive to others’ needs.
-Demands own way.
-Temper tantrum if not catered to.
-Only subject to concrete authority.
*in other words, put away the xbox, get a job, stop spending all your money on yourself & become someone worth committing to!
Seven Characteristics of a Real Man:
-Christ is center of universe.
-Sensitive to Holy Spirit
-Submits to God’s way.
-Puts away anger - sins not.
-Subject to Word of God and leading of
Ladies- Look for a guy who demonstrates commitment, submits to authority, treats his mother well & loves Jesus more than anything! Men are called to be the provider, the protector & the pastor. Ladies need to understand... If he won’t provide, protect & pastor you before you get married, he won’t do it afterward. If you're dating that guy, lose him right away!
Guys should be more concerned with her character & not just her curves. The Bible says in Proverbs 31:30, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
" My shout out to the guys is to not date or marry a woman that is not submissive to her Father/Mother & other established authority in her life. If she won't submit to them, it's just a matter of time before she won't submit to you! Avoid manipulative, whiney women who need to be in control. The book of Proverbs says a lot about those kind of women. Run!
1 Timothy 6:6-12, "6 Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth... 11 But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and godliness (godly life), along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness." Paul reminds Timothy to pursue something that is a picture of a Proverbs 31 woman (righteous, godly, full of love, faith, perseverance & gentleness). If guys will pursue these things rather than the fulfillment of their own lust, they'll find the woman of their dreams. If ladies would demonstrate these characteristics, the man of their dreams would find them!
My final encouragement was about not dating people who aren't believers. I know it sounds old school but the Bible is pretty clear & the wisdom is legit. The Apostle Paul says in 2 Corinthians 6:14
, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" Bottom line, followers of Jesus have different standards & core values which will always be subject to compromise in a mixed relationship. Date someone in pursuit of the same things in life. If you don't, it will lead to frustration & have a dramatic effect on your relationship as well as future generations! (see what happened to King Ahab's children because of his disobedience)
Don't get married until... you are willing to live a life of conviction & not compromise! Don't ruin someone else's life because of your selfishness, moodiness & overall lack of integrity. Become a person worth committing to by the grace, mercy & power of God... & don't get married until!